Orwell Award Announcement SusanOhanian.Org Home

Parent Permission Slip for the 21st Century

It is critical that schools intent on following the drumbeat of the Business Roundtable, the U. S. Chamber of Commerce, and Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and claiming to prepare students to be workers in the 21st Century Global Economy, update their permission slip routines. Every parent should sign the slip below before a child is subjected to the test prep curriculum that precedes the standardized test.

Instructions to Parent: Please read carefully and then sign this permission slip.

I understand that following Secretary of Education Arne Duncan's instructions to educate my child for the 21st Century Global Economy has common side effects, and I hereby grant permission to the school to include my child in the standardized test prep skill drills which produce the following side effects:

  • abdominal pain; asthma; anxiety disorder

  • bed wetting; black stools

  • constipation

  • dizziness; depression

  • eating disorder; echolalia

  • fatigue; flushing; fainting

  • gastritis; green stools

  • headache; heartburn; hallucinations; heart arrhythmia; hair loss; hives

  • insomnia; irritable bowel syndrome; ICU psychosis

  • jaundice

  • Kawasaki disease

  • light-headiness

  • mood changes; muscle cramps; memory loss; maroon stools

  • nausea; narcolepsy; nightmares; nosebleed

  • obsessive compulsive disorder

  • palpitations; panic attack; peptic ulcer; phobia

  • rash; rapid heart beat; red stool

  • sleeplessness; sleepwalking; swelling of arms, legs, hands, and feet; seizures; spasmodic torticollis

  • tremors; thumb sucking; tinnitus

  • ulcerative colitis; upset stomach; urinary incontinence; urticaria

  • vomiting

  • wheezing

  • yellow stools

  • Signature _____________________________

    — Susan Ohanian




    This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of education issues vital to a democracy. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information click here. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.