9135 in the collection
Pitbull on the Pantleg of Opportunity
In press briefing before George Bush,'s commencement speech at Ohio State, U.S.A. Freedom Corps director John Bridgeland asserted that President Bush "derived" his ideas from the teaching of Tocqueville, Adam Smith, "the world's major religions," Aristotle, George Eliot, Emily Dickinson, William Wordsworth, Pope John Paul II, Cicero, Abraham Lincoln and the founding fathers Benjamin Rush, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington.
Ny Times columnist Maureen Dowd said reporters had some doubts. "They had never expected to hear the words 'George Eliot' and 'George Bush' in the same sentence. Did the latter George know that he differed from the former in a fundamental way?"
"Who would have guessed that a man responsible for immortal locutions like last week's gem about immigration--'We need to know who's coming in and why they're not going out'--was in fact relying upon the Tusculan Disputations and the Nicomachean Ethics?"
Dowd points out that "Bush advisers are not satisfied with puffing him up merely as president any more. Now they want to portray him as philosopher-president."
And don't forget Poet.
This poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush, arranged for aesthetic purposes by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson.
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
— Maureen Dowd and Richard Thompson
The New York Times & The Washington Post
INDEX OF OUTRAGES
Pages: 366
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