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The Latest Poll

Posted: 2004-09-07

As you know, I try to stick to standards and testing and NCLB atrocities. But these poll results were too good to pass up.

from The New York Times



September 7, 2004



40 percent of parents who dislike 30 percent of their children prefer George W. Bush.





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60 percent of households that fly flags think America can do no wrong 26 percent of the time.





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70 percent of women who think Mr. Bush is more likeable than their husbands prefer John Kerry.





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52 percent of people with wall-to-wall carpeting dislike Mr. Bush's plan for redecorating Iraq.





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98 percent of people who are hearing-impaired like 50 percent of what they hear from Mr. Bush.





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100 percent of Spanish-American War veterans are dead.





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98 percent of World War I veterans can't remember the name of either candidate. Both prefer Coolidge.





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43 percent of women think Mr. Bush has more presidential hair. 26 percent think John Edwards has more vice presidential hair. 47 percent think Mr. Edwards has more presidential hair and 26 percent think Mr. Kerry has more vice presidential hair. 92 percent think Dick Cheney has no hair. 73 percent think Mr. Bush's hair is irrelevant. 54 percent think Mr. Bush is irrelevant.





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76 percent of women think Teresa Heinz Kerry colors her hair. 53 percent of those women would prefer a different color. 42 percent would prefer a different first lady.



One-half of all Jewish mothers like one-half of Mr. Kerry.





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63 percent of single women over 50 think John Kerry is too tall for his own good. 71 percent of divorced women say George Bush would be an ideal ex-husband.





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Before the Republican convention, 86 percent of the population thought Zell Miller was a professional golfer. After the convention, 92 percent of the population would not like to be in his foursome.





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50 percent of the electorate think that polls are misleading, inaccurate and inconclusive. The other 50 percent agree 30 percent of the time with 40 percent of the results.





Lee Kalcheim is a writer for television and theater whose most recent play is "Defiled."







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