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Concerning the Matter of a Desk Audit

Posted: 2003-01-03

The occasional nagging question gets answered.


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Inspector General:

Mission Statement

The mission of the Office of Inspector General (OIG) is to assist the department in facilitating Florida?s educational needs (FEN) by providing timely auditing, investigative, and review services; assessments of management functions (TAIRSAMF); and the promotion of integrity, economy, efficiency and effectiveness (PIEEE) of departmental programs and activities.

Dear Inspector General (IG):
Can you tell me what is meant by a "desk audit" of an FCAT?

Thank you.

--concerned parent

Parent Answer #374,642:

As stated in directives 16, 483, and 2,498, you may request a "Desk Audit" of your child's test. If through the Desk Audit Procedure (DAP) this office felt there was any anomaly in her desk, this office would not hesitate to have the actual document pulled and verify the scoring. Some anomalies which we have discovered in previous desk audits include:

(a) The #02 pencil did not maintain contact with the desk at a 43 degree angle.
(b) One leg on the desk was shorter than all three other legs, causing the desk to tilt during the moment of contact of the #02 pencil and the correct bubble.
(c) Three legs on the desk were longer than the remaining fourth leg, causing the desk to tilt during the moment of contact between the #02 pencil and the correct bubble.
(d) An inspection on the bottom of the desk reveals that there is not enough gum adhered to the school equipment.

As stated, an Official Desk Audit (ODA) is done by inspecting the actual desk which your child tested on. No substitutions allowed. For accomodations, refer to Directive #93,218, subsection 4a--if child was born with a month containing an R. If not, why not?

A Composite Desk Audit (CDA) is done by examining the composition of the desk for wood, particle wood, compressed wood, formica, carbon steel, stainless steel, plastic, PVC, and other elements. This audit can take up to 26 weeks, as it must be submitted to Bob the Builder for a nondestructive (ND) spectrophotometric analysis of the actual desk (SAD), including tensile and yield strength.

In the meantime, a desk can be rented from School Craft Furniture Company until the composite desk has been audited. Rental fees vary depending upon availability,destination, surtaxes, and wind direction. A guaranteed standard replica of the school desk is not guaranteed. Standardized minds (SM) are guaranteed by No Child Left Behind. They don't say anything about desks or the buildings in which desks sit.

The Internal Audit (IA) is desk audit of final appeal. Internal Audit Level 1 (IAL1) examines standardized test procedures. Approved auditing agencies are Halliburton, Standard & Poors, Achieve, and Pentagon D Testing Services.

Internal Audit Level 2 (IAL2) examines the child externally. The least invasive external Internal Audit is a DNA analysis of any remaining particles of vomit which remain on the desk and the actual bubble sheet itself. Auditors ascertain whether the vomit is that of your child, the teacher, another child (in the event of any reports or incidents of projectile vomiting from the same classroom), any past test takers who sat at the desk in question, or stray college students lost on spring break.

Internal Audit Level 3 (IAL3) is the preference of agencies complying with the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) call for scientific research in educating poor and working class children (SREPWCC).The results are quick and definitive. This requires an autopsy of your child. Reading First experts will collect brain samples for study and write nifty papers about what they see.

Please Note: All applicants for National Board Desk Audits (NBDA) who receive a State of Florida fee subsidy MUST notify the Department of Education and the NBDA immediately in writing of withdrawal from the NBDA certification program. The applicant forfeits the $230 application fee payment and shall repay the State of Florida the amount of the fee subsidy paid by the State and not refunded to the State by the NBDA pursuant to the NBDA refund policy and timelines.

If withdrawal is made after the portfolio due date, no money is refunded and the applicant owes the State of Florida $2,070.

Repayment of the application fee subsidy is also required if the child does not continue to attend a Florida public school for one year immediately after completion of the desk audit.

In the case of extenuating circumstances, such as death of the child, if insurance has been purchased, repayment of the application fee subsidy may be waived, at the discretion of the Inspector General. In the case of dismemberment, please consult chart:

Loss of one arm and hand: 33% fee subsidy waived
Loss of two arms and hands: 66% fee subsidy waived
Loss of two arms, hands and one foot: 70% fee subsidy waived
Loss of eyesight: 75% fee subsidy waived

The applicant should keep in mind that the NBDTA process is a very rigorous, challenging, and time-consuming undertaking that requires a sincere and total commitment. Careful examination of the guidebook relative to areas of standards, assessments, and timelines is highly recommended before application is made.

In the event that the desk audit rubric is determined to be satisfactory, then you may appeal and ask for a pencil audit. This office will outline the procedures for this audit at the appropriate time. Don't call us; we will call you.

A paper audit would be the subsequent step.

This office has found that this is the best procedure to ensure that what we are doing is covered up successfully, thus enabling us to adhere to our mission statement.

This office does not want to give you any false hope, nor does this office wish to hear about James Hope. Your message indicates that you believe a "regrading" would result in a different score. This office is confident in the accuracy of our errors (AOE), but willing to accommodate your pathetic request (PR).

--Wendell, for the Inspector General, who has better things to do.

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