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Advisory (the Feds claim they can't require it--unless you want to get the money) Teacher Rating System: Form P

Publication Date: 2015-12-02

Fill out this form and file it with anybody you think will care.

Choose the Best Answer:

I. Career rung: [See 1]

a) Highly Qualified

b) Highly Strung

c) Knee High to a Grasshopper

d) High on the Hog

e) High Flyer

f) High

II. Attach Highly Qualified Form 421683947861 [See 2]

III. Incentive Rewards:[see 3]

a) Before School Test Prep

b) During School Test Prep

c) Lunch Duty Test Prep

d) After School Test Prep

e) Homework Test Prep

f) Sunday School Test Prep

IV. Professionalism: Which of these most closely resembles your teaching philosophy, pedagogy, and/or practice? Choose all that apply.

a) Keep the pedal to the metal

b) If first they don't succeed, test them more often.

c) All work and no play makes Jack the perfect corporate drone.

d) A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult.

e) A hug is worth a thousand mission statements.

f) Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never trust your classroom to a Standardisto who has a plan that works for all students.

g) Governments lie.

h)You can't write no music for a fife. You can't print it. You got to do it. [See 4]

VI. How often do you DIBELS in public? [See 5, 6]

VII. Bully Declaration: Who bullies you? Choose all that apply.

a) PTA

b) School board

c) State Department of Education

d) U. S. Department of Education

e) Business Roundtable

f) education editorialists at New York Times

f) Other (please specify in 10,000 words or less) [See 7]

VIII. Locate your principal's position on the School Security Advisory System for Controlling the School Borders:

a) CHAOS (scarlet)

b( PANIC (magenta)

c) PARANOIA (violet)

d) APATHY (burnt sienna)

e) DESPAIR (mahogany)

f) EXUBERANCE (canary yellow)

g) MANIA (orange)

[For more options, See 8]

IX. Professional Development Contribution Checkoff

a) Arne Duncan Farewell Party.

b) John King Welcome Party

c) Business Roundtable Sunshine Fund

d) Bill & Melinda Gates whoopee cushion

e) National Alliance to Provide Safe Haven for Third Graders

f) Teacher Witness Protection Program [See 9]

X. Why did the chicken cross the road?

a) And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

b)To live successfully in the global economy of the 21st century information age, the chicken was faced with significant challenges to develop and demonstrate the competencies required for the newly competitive market.

c) Perdue lobbyists pressured Congress to pass a federal mandate requiring all chickens to demonstrate road crossing proficiency.

d) The chicken's native habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked corporate greed, breaking the Kyoto Accord, which the U. S. refuses to sign.

e) Focusing on chicken travels reveals an unwillingness to face the challenges posed by our racist, bigoted, sexist society.

f) To get away from DIBELS.

_________________________ witness [see 10]

Custodian's signature____________

Addendum: Data Warehousing Truth in Lending [see 11] Declaration: From time to time the U. S. government will choose to share your personal information with campaign contributors who have a need to know, and there's nothing you can do about it.


(1) Please attach Copy B of your lesson plans for the year, including bulletin board objectives.

(2) Available from Linda Darling-Hammond.

(3) Anyone declaring Recess Duty will be subject to an internal investigation from the U. S. Department of Education-Business Roundtable Joint Commission on Making Sure Kids Acquire Grit.

(4) We don't make stuff up here. Othar Turner said this in The New York Times, 11/08/01, and they repeated it in his obituary --and theyprint only the news that's fit to print.

(5) Information requested by Preventive Health Services Administration, Bureau of Epidemiology and Disease Control.

(6) DIBELS Safe Network protects your most valuable assets. Does a registered DIBELS offender live next door? For $19.95 get access to information on access to information on 1,063,006 persons required to register in California as DIBELS offenders.

(7) RESPOND Responding to incidents and vulnerabilities ensures a secure network infrastructure for the short term. Without immediate response, vulnerabilities and attack methods can spread. Contact your nearest Homeland Security office.

(8) For more information, see www.crayola.com

(9) Subject to the Teacher Witness Protection Act, the Commissioner may determine whether a witness should be admitted to the Program and the type of protection to be provided to any protectee in the Program, subsequent to the approval of the Broad Foundation Leadership Team, Education Trust Board of Directors, and Bill Gates.

(10) Have declaration witnessed, attested, affirmed, certified, and vouched for by a member of the Cour internationale de Justice.

(11) Title 15, Chapter 41, subchapter 1, part E.

Be Advised: Craigs List seeking scorers at $11.05 an hour.

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