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"NAIVE Awards Paige with Highest Honor"

Publication Date: 2004-02-28

NAIVE's tongue may be firmly in its collective cheek, but they hit the nail on the head: Paige has done a lot to stir up NCLB resistance.

CHAMPAIGN, IL (NPI) -- US Secretary of Education Rod Paige is this year's recipient of the coveted Man of the Year award sponsored by the National
Alliance Interested in Vivisecting Evil (NAIVE).

The award, awarded whenever anyone at the home office remembers to award it, is given to the the man who contributes most significantly to the
organization's mission of eradicating chillingly Orwellian policies and practices from the education world.

Paige received the award, according to NAIVE spokesjanitor Eric Crump, for his dazzling work energizing and spreading resistance among teachers to the government's insane education program, the No Child Left Behind Act. Paige recently referred to the NEA, the largest teachers' union in the country, as a terrorist organization for its criticism of NCLB.

"Resistance has been growing steadily among teachers since NCLB was approved," Crump said, "But more people are genuinely pissed off now than before Paige's timely comment. It's a catalyst for the cause."

Crump said the organization's practice of using information and rational persuasion to convince teachers to resist the ill-begotten law is
effective but slow. He said Paige had succeeded in lighting a fire under teachers who previously had only been smoldering.

"Secretary Paige has, with a couple of poorly chosen words, done more good than all our press releases, rallies, town hall meetings, bake sales, bowling parties, keggers, sack races, and bingo games combined," Crump added.

Paige could not be reached for comment, but presumably his press secretary will be all over this Monday, with expressions of humble gratitude and a pledge to continue the work of undermining his own administration's policy.

NAIVE will announce its Woman of the Year award later today.

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