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Horrible Exams

Homework assignment, English 9

Publication Date: 2006-04-20

One child's response to her homework assignment.


Comments from Annie: I had to post this piece. The assignment was: to write her own "I would rather..." monologue based on Juliets. A little gem in the midst of the rubble and ruins...



I really liked the assignment and so did she.



I thought her subject choice was very relevant and, I admit that her list of punishments to replace the torture of the relentless testing really made me laugh. Now it is public knowledge that I do, indeed, subject this child to impressionist art exhibits....




Horrible Exams


O bid me stay, rather than study for exams,


In the Annapolis Mall forever with all of the mall rats;


Or do ten million SAT practice tests, or bid me watch,


Alone in the dark, 100 eerie horror movies;


Or take me to an art museum,


Lock me in the impressionist section for hours on end,


Without anybody to talk to.


Or bid me death by a slow, painful means,


And don?t let me see my family ever again.


To hear of these things would be punishment enough!


And I will do it without fear or doubt,


Just not to study for exams.


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