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Horrible Exams

Homework assignment, English 9

Publication Date: 2006-04-20

One child's response to her homework assignment.

Comments from Annie: I had to post this piece. The assignment was: to write her own "I would rather..." monologue based on Juliets. A little gem in the midst of the rubble and ruins...

I really liked the assignment and so did she.

I thought her subject choice was very relevant and, I admit that her list of punishments to replace the torture of the relentless testing really made me laugh. Now it is public knowledge that I do, indeed, subject this child to impressionist art exhibits....

Horrible Exams

O bid me stay, rather than study for exams,

In the Annapolis Mall forever with all of the mall rats;

Or do ten million SAT practice tests, or bid me watch,

Alone in the dark, 100 eerie horror movies;

Or take me to an art museum,

Lock me in the impressionist section for hours on end,

Without anybody to talk to.

Or bid me death by a slow, painful means,

And don?t let me see my family ever again.

To hear of these things would be punishment enough!

And I will do it without fear or doubt,

Just not to study for exams.

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