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Apps, Schwas, and Bill Gates

Publication Date: 2010-11-12

Ohanian confesses APP ignorance.


The most popular article today at The New York Times is "Top 10 Must-Have Apps for the iPhone, and Some Runners-Up." Well, I don't have an iPhone, but more important, probably, I don't have a clue what an app is.

No, don't write and tell me. Please, please, please don't do that.

I once confessed I didn't know what a schwa was, and I got tons of mail explaining these creatures.

I still don't know.

I still don't care.

I figure apps are the result of one night of unbridled passion between a schwa and Bill Gates, and I don't give a damn.

I can't resist listing what you get if you put "app" into a Google search:



  • Asbury Park Press (That's New Jersey, leading me to say, "Ask for an app, and you end up in New Jersey.")

  • Association of Professional Piercers (ain't the Internet great?)

  • a pharmaceutical company in the Fresenius Kabi Group

  • American Apparel Common Stock

  • Amyloid precursor protein whose primary function is not known, though it has been implicated as a regulator of synapse form

  • The Atom Publishing Protocol

  • Anderson Power Products, an industry leader in the design and manufacture of high power interconnect solutions for rapid prototyping to production volumes

  • And so on and so on.

    Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.


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