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Rahm Emanuel to Remove His Children From Lab School
An Ed Notes Exclusive
Celebrating the end of the strike and embarrassed over Chicago parent Matt Farmer's revelations of the kinds of privileges children enjoy at the University of Chicago Lab School, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced he will remove his children from the elite school immediately and place them in schools in Chicago's roughest neighborhoods.
Emanuel made his decision after viewing a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMUboOIQT48) of Farmer comparing the services -- small class sizes, libraries, physical education, books, working bathrooms -- Emanuel's and other kids, the Obama kids included, enjoyed at the Lab school, services denied to the majority of Chicago public school students.
Emanuel was so shaken he was heard to say, "What the fuck."
Emanuel is actively searching for the most under-resourced schools with the highest class sizes he can find for his children. President Obama announced if he should lose the election and have to go back to Chicago he will follow Emanuel's lead and place Sasha and Malika in the same school Emanuel chooses for his kids.
Emanuel felt challenged to prove wrong the Chicago Teachers Union's claims that learning in class sizes over 40 in non-air conditoned rooms with few wraparound services can be harmful to kids. "Mr. Emanuel will show how his own kids can learn in these conditions as well as they did at the Lab school," said a spokesperson for the Mayor.
"Rahm is actively searching through a list of the most under-resourced schools with the highest class sizes he can find to make his point. His problem is that there are so many choices -- and the Mayor does believe in choice -- he is having trouble making up his mind from the hundreds of schools starved of resources. He has found classes over 50 but is still looking, sure he can find class sizes that will break the 60 barrier. The more the merrier," said the spokesperson.
After Emanuel's children get the highest scores in the school -- and if they don't he will put them up for adoption -- he and Obama will make a joint announcement that the school will be closed and all the teachers fired.
Emanuel had no comment other than to say, "A GIANT FUCK YOU TO KAREN LEWIS."
CPS Parent Matt Farmer Puts Penny Pritzker on Trial at CTU's STANDS STRONG RALLY
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