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NCLB Outrages

Fatal-shootings law

by Arnold Indictor

I have been reading the No Child Left Behind Law and it suddenly came to me that we should use this model to solve the rampant firearm homicides in Philadelphia. I call this program the No One Killed by Firearms Law (NOKFL).

This law will give the Philadelphia Police Department unprecedented flexibility in how they spend their public safety money, in return they must set standards for reduction of firearm deaths and hold police accountable for achieving those results.

Police cannot blame poverty, or insane gun laws for the increase in firearm incidents. Instead they must develop programs that are scientifically proven to reduce this problem. Further, every police officer must be of the highest quality to satisfy the NOKFL.

The police department must make yearly progress in all districts regardless of race, level of poverty, poor housing, drug problems and any other social or economic factor.

Individual districts that make yearly progress will be rewarded with extra funds. Districts that do not make the yearly progress will be punished. Districts that continue to fail in making adequate yearly progress will have their districts "restructured" and all personnel replaced with officers of the highest quality from other districts that are making yearly progress.

Citizens living in districts that do not make adequate yearly progress will have the right to move to any district in the city with the city picking up the tab for moving expenses and providing appropriate housing.

The ultimate goal of this law is to reduce the number of firearm killings to 0 in five years. If this goal is not met then the entire police department will be terminated and private companies will be brought in to provide public safety.

Hey, if it's good enough for education then why not extend the philosophy to other realms? Watch out fire department: I'm working on a No Fires in Philly Law (NFPL)!

— Arnold Indictor
Philadelphia Inquirer


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