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NCLB Outrages

Test Taking Tips, Real and Surreal

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets or steal bread.
--Anatole France, 1894

NCLB, in its majestic equality, proclaims that rich and poor alike can do well on standardized tests and be proficient.
--Susan Ohanian, 2007

Test-taking tips from Your Neighborhood School

  • Students should not stress about the tests.

  • Parents should avoid doctor/dentist appointments or early dismissals for their children during the test period. If students must be absent for religious holiday observances or due to illness, parents should notify the school so children can take makeup tests.

  • Students should have plenty of rest the night before and eat a nutritious breakfast on the morning of the tests.

  • Parents should encourage their children to do well.

  • Students should be in school every day and come to class on time.



  • Real World Test-Taking Tips

  • Parents should avoid being homeless, seeking shelter with a clean, well-lighted place for children to do homework.

  • Parents should avoid taking more than three jobs, so as to be available to help with homework.

  • Students should seek parents making upwards of $50,000.

  • — Susan Ohanian

    2007-10-09


    INDEX OF NCLB OUTRAGES


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